Life with V By Valerie Spencer Becks of Belper

I have decided to write The Homeowners Guide to dealing with an intruder or burglar in your home.

The first thing to do when you come across somebody in your home wielding a gun, machete, knife or similar item, day or night, is to not assume they are there for criminal reasons. They may have mistaken your house for theirs and you must assume that they are simply looking for the kettle to make a cuppa and have a balaclava on because they are cold.

Before taking any action, determine the level of threat the intruder is going to put you under as it determines what level of force you can use to remove them from your home. Stop them for a minute and ask them what their intentions are.

If they intend to simply rob you and leave you, let them to get on with it because they apparently won’t harm you. If they indicate they are going to rob and beat you up a bit, give them a bit of a slap and hope that will deter them. If they are going to attack you then you apparently have to wait until they do it before taking any action, because it might just all be talk. They might not get around to it, so in that case you are defending yourself against a non-threat. If they intend to attack you and your family, take a few moments to determine what you feel is reasonable force, hoping they haven’t actually gone ahead and done it already.

The well-being of the criminal who has broken into your private home must be taken into consideration - far above all threats to you, your family or your neighbours. Having said this I would just like to say that if anybody is in my house who has not been specifically invited, I will have a tendency to hit back and ask questions later.

I do apologise to any burglars in advance for this totally inconsiderate course of action and do hope that I will not cause you any serious damage because I am sure you broke into my home with the best of intentions!!!!

Isn’t it absolutely ridiculous? Perhaps if a few more burglars did get attacked by homeowners it might deter a good number of them from breaking in the first place - or is it just me who thinks like this???

Valerie is a regular columnist in All Things Local - The Community Magazine for Kilburn, Belper and Ripley with a combined circulation of 27,000 copies.