The Diary of a Local Mum

A friend of mine recently asked me to help her with her CV. She’s taken a ‘career-break’ to look after her three children, and hasn’t worked in the conventional sense for seven years. She was worried about how to communicate this on her CV, without coming across as out of touch or a bit rusty.

She began looking back at skills and experience she could draw on from her previous job, but she was concerned that it looked like she was delving into the past for evidence of her abilities. It struck us then that we shouldn’t skim over the past seven years, but that her experience within this time was both valid and valuable.

There’s a common misconception that parents of either sex who take time off work to look after children spend all of their time cleaning and drinking tea. There’s certainly some tea and cleaning involved, but looking after children (and a home) involves a great deal more than that, and during those years you develop skills that are easily transferable, and would be beneficial in any workplace.

In fact there are very few paid positions that require such a vast variety of skills. When you become a parent there is no training, and often little support. You have to think on your feet, make tough decisions, and carry out a multitude of demanding tasks every day.

We looked at the skills that had been well-honed during the past seven years and these included:

Organisational skills – speak to most parents and they will say their calendar is the most important thing in their house. Not only are you organising your own life, but you’re responsible for numerous little people getting to and from various schools, pre-schools, swimming lessons, clubs, and social commitments, often all at the same time. Then there are meals, packed lunches, uniforms, presents, and countless other things to think about. Managing an office diary is a doddle when you’ve been through that.

Multi-tasking – from the earliest days of becoming a parent this becomes second nature. In fact, if you’re only doing one thing at once you start to wonder what’s wrong.

Quick-thinking – when a wheel falls off a bike when you’re halfway home from the park and you’re faced with the prospect of carrying both a broken bike and a screaming toddler home, it’s amazing how innovative you can be.

Negotiation skills – from a surprisingly young age children are shrewd negotiators, and the ability to debate and agree on a compromise is imperative.

Learning new skills – there’s nothing like being thrown in at the deep end, and when you first become a parent that’s exactly what happens. Within days you’re an expert on feeding, winding, changing, dressing and all the things that had previously filled you with terror (admit it, everyone’s scared of even holding a newborn before they have their own). This doesn’t stop either. As your child grows up you’re continually learning new things to keep up with them and support them through all their new ventures.

Communication skills – as well as learning to communicate with your children on their level (interpreting their early utterances, encouraging them to tell you what’s bothering them, explaining difficult concepts to them), parents also have to learn to communicate effectively with a host of other adults at various levels, dealing with problems or situations that can be challenging, sensitive or embarrassing.

And this list is far from comprehensive. Being a parent is by far the most difficult job you could have, and it’s a life-long commitment that doesn’t get easier! We’d all shy away from putting this experience on our CV’s for fear of not being taken seriously, but surely any employer would be lucky to have someone with all of these skills.

By Helen Young

This article appears in our Feb/Mar 2012 issues - click here to read the All Things Local issue of your choice.

Diary of a local Mum by Helen Young

As I write this, it’s half term. The time when teachers get a well-deserved rest, and parents are suddenly thrown headfirst into a whirlwind of complex childcare arrangements and endless attempts to entertain their children (and often one or two belonging to other people as well).

I was lucky enough to have some time off work to spend with the kids this half term, and was hell-bent on making sure we enjoyed our time together. However, after a day or two (possibly more like an hour or two, but it felt like a while…) of giving in to the can we do’s and the can we have’s I noticed that my purse felt decidedly light, and recoiled in shock at the sight of my bank balance. It was then that I cast my mind back to my own childhood, and began to get a bit more imaginative with the entertainment…

I reinvented myself as a Blue Peter presenter and we spent a happy afternoon baking and making models from cardboard boxes, toilet roll inners, much glue, and some paint. The next day was spent at the park kicking piles of leaves and rolling down hills (resulting in lots of giggling, some filthy clothes, and only a very minor head injury). I even introduced them to the wonders of communication via two yoghurt pots and a piece of string, which caused more astonishment and intrigue than my iPhone ever has.

Our enjoyable budget days started me thinking about how childhood has changed over the years, and how the current economic climate, although difficult in so many ways, may have some hidden positives (albeit deeply hidden). I look back on my childhood with fond memories, and it wasn’t full of gadgets, holidays and expensive days out. My brother and I would spend hours building dens from blankets and boxes, creating our own musical instruments, or concocting delicious mud pies in the garden.

This article appeared in the Dec 2011 / Jan 2012 edition of All Things Local.

The thing with kids is, they have no preconceived ideas about how life should be, but they expect what they get used to – and the more they’re given the more they come to expect. And as parents it’s easy to fall into this trap of feeling guilty if we don’t give them what they want. It’s a vicious circle. Don’t get me wrong, I know that as a parent (especially when you work as well) it’s very hard to find the time and energy to get creative or leap around the park like an excited six year old, but when you do manage it, it’s surprisingly liberating!

The other great thing about spending some time getting back to basics is that the special outings become so much more special. We did treat the kids to a day at a theme park, and there was a noticeable absence of ‘can we have’s, ‘pleeease Mum’s, and tears at home time. There was a real sense of enjoyment and, dare I say it, gratitude.

With Christmas fast approaching I have no doubt that there’s much spoiling to come (I’m already clearing out the toy boxes in preparation), but after my half-term reality check I’m going to really make an effort to embrace the simple (and cheaper) pleasures in life over the festive season. I’m not planning on depriving my children of what’s on their Christmas lists (that wouldn’t be fair, especially considering what’s on mine…), but I will make sure they understand how lucky they are, and that their gifts are appreciated.

And I’ll show them how much fun you can have making your own decorations and baking mince pies, even if nine times out of ten they’re totally inedible.